Where Was Jesse When I Needed Him?

Although I'm sure the punishment of Terrell Owens is an inherently erroneous response not warranted by his whiney baby antics and incredibly unprofessional diva-like behavior, I was suprised to see Jesse Jackson chime in the matter. Isn't he busy working on something value-added for the whole of society? I know he's swamped with his everyday responsibilities of writing rhyming speaches and plotting conscientious objections to societal conventions, but I feel cheated.

Where was Jesse when I needed him to help protest my punishments during middle school and high school? I was grounded for over half of the 36 week school year for such faults as disobeying management's (parent's) orders and general stupidity. Are not those the same types of infractions of which T.O. has been thought guilty by Philly management?

Perhaps Jesse should be more inclusive of his services. Other individuals with the same maturity level of T.O., such as Ninth Graders in Mrs. Marko's Biology class would appreciate his intervention. I know that I would have. I could have used his services the time she can gave me detention for telling an inappropriate joke during class. Yes, the punishment was probably warranted, but Mrs. Marko should not have been able to punish me for telling a joke that she laughed at. Where is the justice in that?

Jesse, if you offer this type of service to the voters of tomorrow, you may have a shot at the 2020 presidential election.


GEICO Cavemen Are Actually Oasis

Can we not agree that the cavemen featured in the GEICO commercial are actually Liam & Noel Gallagher?

The one who orders the food is clearly Liam with Noel playing the part of the caveman sans appetite.

I haven't gotten any work done in the past five minutes, but I did save $10 on my car insurance by switching to GEICO.