Top Five Things That I Thought About Today

5. Someone needs to start a support group for folks who call me and expect me to listen to them breathe because they don't have anything to say.
4. How can I get my Paris-based company to approve thirty hour work
weeks and snotty attitudes for its US employees?
3. I would like to beat the crap out of whomever decided it was
fashionable to wander around with your bluetooth headset crammed in
your ear when you're not on the phone.
2. Migas are good.
1. Who was the bored Japanese genius with nothing better do to than
invent some puzzle game that has taken over the planet's newspapers
like kudzu on steroids and beckons me to quit work and while away hours playing with numbers?


The BackWord is Back

During the past few months many of you have asked me what happened to the TheBackWord, the Austin-based online magazine for which I used to scribe. In August, the editors were overcome with real life pursuits like work, marriage and living; they decided to pull the plug on El BW before it jumped the shark. Some time shortly thereafter The BackWord faded off into Bolivian, and a hole was left in the InterWeb.

The topic came up again during our family Christmas dinner this year. Cousin Trey, also a BackWord contributor, filled in the gaps for the fam while I filled my gap with seafood gumbo and potato salad.

While I chomped, I thought about the good ole days when I was funny and could write more better than I do now. Luckily, the Tabasco sauce must have melted some frozen brain cells.

I realized that I had, months before, pulled down the files for Trey's articles and mine. I found the files just where I didn't remember putting them four months before, on my flash drive, and sent the zip file to Trey.

Now our articles live again, displaying to all further evidence of the depth of our mania and our need of a grammar lesson. Visit The BackWord (abridged version) at http://www.treydogg.com/TheBackWord.

What's Up, Dog?

I'm supposed to be packing for a business trip and cleaning the house and doing some work and a million other things. Instead, I am watching The Office while I pretend to work.

The episode opened with potentially the greatest stupid joke ever that has been told by me and my knucklehead friends for years.

"Kinda smells like up dog in here."
"What's up dog?"
"I don't know, G, what's up with you?"

That's snort-o-rific. On second thought, maybe I should have kept this to myself.


A Sucker is Born

Before I moved from Houston to Austin I was out running errands and
when these two guys in a Durango pull up beside me in traffic offering
lots of "overstock" discounted stereo equipment. I figured, "What the
hell? I need new speakers."

I pulled over in a parking lot near a high traffic area so that I
wouldn't get jacked...for my car. They showed me a glossy magazine
with the list price of the gear and a bill of lading for the order. It seemed as if everything was in order. Shouldn't I help these guys out?

The old adage goes, "If something's too good to be true, it probably
is." My amended version includes the add-on "unless your buddy, Dug,
says it's a good deal."

Based on his crackerjack advice and my stupidity, I rationalized
buying a set of speakers as a great deal. I still haven't used the
damn things cuz I don't want to have hard core proof that I'm a dope.

Too late.

Normally, I would never disclose anything like this. But, the same
thing happened to C├ęsar, from The BackWord, here in Austin. I just
read his blog entry on El Mas Chingon. He just said no. It's clear that he's got more brains than me.

Anyone got clear title on the Brooklyn Bridge?

Home Office with Woodpecker

Originally uploaded by JaseMan.
I work better with ambient noise, but come on. Quit jackhammering in my backyard.

Must be time to build a bunch of cookie cutter townhomes nearby since there's cool wild life going on.


Blog Babe Who Are You?

So I'm bored and not motivated at work yesterday and needed a break.

After I finished watching the grass grow, I logged into Blogger to fiddle with the settings and change a few things.

I noticed that a hottie kept looking at me as I perused the templates. I thought she was making eyes at me because she thought I was cute until my coworker told me she was just a picture on the web. I wascrushed. So, I went back to watching the grass grow.