Westward Ho: From TX to the OC

"They call Los Angeles the City of Angels. I didn't find it to be that exactly, but I'll allow as there are some nice folks there."
- The Stranger, The Big Lebowski

I am relocating to Orange County, California. This doesn't mean that I don't like Texas. It means I'm going where the work is. Think of me as a modern day Native American following the trail of Tetanka across the United States.

In preparation to for my migration, I watched precisely ten minutes of one episode of The OC. I liked what I saw: two super hot ladies that were not afraid to display their affection. Any local that inspired television producers to create a series about it must be rife with fodder for a displaced Texan seeking to get his own sitcom.

I will be living on a college campus. A truly inspired and under appreciated genius developed a Marriott on the campus of California State in Fullerton. I can't help feeling like Mitch Martin from Old School. But I won't be starting a fraternity from my Huntington Beach room at the Marriott, unless I run into Blue.

There is so much to do: West Coast Customs will be just down the street. Venice Beach is close too. I can pimp myself out in Dogtown with skate gear to prove that I've been there. I'll take extreme posing to a new level.

The Los Angeles area is a Mecca for professional sports: the Clippers, Lakers, Kings, Dodgers, and the Angels of Anaheim. The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim? Are you kidding me? What sports marketing guru thought that was a good idea? They're the California Angels if you ask me.

This Texan will uncover the truth about California. Are there really vegetarians on every corner? Does the hip coffee shop clerk have the greatest hydroponics herb? Do all Californians like to surf? Do they really have the worst traffic in the solar system? But more importantly, do avocados grow on trees?

This was originally posted on TheBackWord.com, a Texas-centric eZine that has gone the way of the jackalope.

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