Would You Know Me Without This?

The accounting center drones in Canadia have been sending me threatening emails regarding the use of my Corporate American Express card. "Personal charges are strictly prohibited." "This card is property of the company and can be revoked." "We will come to your house and burn it down if you charge another month of NetFlix on your Corporate AmEx!"

All of the above is correct, except the obvious, and also happens to be a load of bullshit. While the card is "Corporate," the buck stops with you know who in that I alone am responsible for the bill. Uncle Cappy doesn't pay it. Just little old me, which in my book means that I should be able to charge a new Porsche on the damn thing if I so desire as long as I pay off the balance at the end of the month, ya dig?

However, I prefer to choose my spots for boat rocking and this ain't one of them. Six weeks ago I caved into the pressure and got my very own Personal AmEx. It's the first time in roughly seven years that I have had my own card. It's kind of exciting.

Now that I'm back on the road for work, which is a mixed blessing, I have been flipping the pages of various magazines that contain those silly AmEx ads featuring a fill-in the blank survey completed by some celebrity or person of note. (Yes, there is a difference.)

While not nearly as intriguing as some of the craptastic surveys floating around on MySpace these days, I decided to offer my own input to the AmEx survey if for no other reason than to make myself chuckle and kill the time between Larry Kellner's Gomer like speech before the Continental In-Flight Safety Briefing.

My name: is Inigo Montoya
childhood ambition: was to kill the six-fingered man
fondest memory: was killing the six-fingered man
soundtrack: is pretty cheesy like 80's soundtracks usually are
retreat: is anywhere Fezzik and I get drunk
wildest dream: was to kill the six-fingered man
proudest moment: was killing the six-fingered man
biggest challenge: was storming the castle
alarm clock: is The Brute Squad coming to pick-up Fezzik
perfect day: was storming the castle, saving Princess Buttercup and killing the six-fingered man
first job: was helping my dad make swords
indulgence: is getting drunk with Fezzik
last purchase: was the magic pill to revive Westley
favorite movie: what are movies?
inspiration: was anyone who'd ever killed a six-fingered man
My life: is about to kill really boring since I killed the six-fingered man, saved the Princess and helped restore order to the kingdom
My card: is in my pocket

1 comment:

k-lo said...

oh jb, how i love your wit and humor. (and seeing that i have none, i will SO be stealing your little amex survey....those bitches are upgrading me to a black card this year goddmanit.)