YGBFKM: Go Pee on WhiteFence

Gas Meter
Originally uploaded by JaseMan.
Today's You Gotta Be Fucking Kidding Me Moment is brought to you by WhiteFence & CenterPoint Energy.

Fade in to a grumpy man sitting at his computer trying to determine what needs to be done to move into his new house.

"I should probably switch over the utilities," he thinks. Using The Google, he quickly discovers that all essential utilities can be ordered from a portal called WhiteFence.com. In fact, he is redirected to WhiteFence.com when he attempts to order his electrical service directly from the provider.

Click. Scroll. Click. He's just ordered electricity and gas services and immediately receives order confirmation. He thinks the site is super useful and wishes everything involved with buying a new home were this easy.

Fast forward ten days to a scene of an irate man sitting at his computer. He's extremely agitated and may actually be turning green.
You won't like him when he's angry.

The source of his anger is what's missing from his home. He does not have gas for the first time in his life. The gas is not turned on at the home.

"No sweat," he thinks. "I've watched maintenance guys turn on the gas at The Bartlett House. I can handle this."

"I'll just turn on the gas at the meter."

He arrived at the location where the gas meter once lived. But, the gas meter was no where to be found. Perhaps the gas meters in the neighborhood had gone on strike and headed to San Juan del Sur for surfing. Alas, Jolene, the gas meter next door, confirmed that she was content and functioning properly.

A quick phone call to CenterPoint confirmed his worst fear. His order had not been received. Terse yet calm protestations are made into the phone. "Surely, you're out of your fucking mind! I submitted this order 10 days ago."

"I'm sorry, sir. We have no record of your order."

"But I ordered it through WhiteFence.com. I have the confirmation right here."

"Oh, did you say 'WhiteFence.com'?" snickered the customer service representative.

"Yeah, they did my electricity, too, which is on."

"Sir, no matter what you may have, we do not actually receive new service orders from that website. You'll have to call tomorrow to order your new service."

"But I have an order confirmation!"

"Doesn't matter."

"It's in writing."

"Doesn't matter. You'll have to call tomorrow to order your new service."

"You gotta be fucking kidding me!?"


k.e.b said...

'said it before. i'll say it again. SHOULD NOT HAVE MOVED.

JMB said...

just wait...the cable/dish guy will insert the screw even deeper...

Anonymous said...

the whitefence is made of plastic----it creates an illusion of being neigborly. im soooo ashamed of walking thru their gate.....it looked so trusting, so easy, so convincing.....