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T-Minus 10 Days to Fajitas


Sunday Shopping Trip
Originally uploaded by JaseMan
Today was my first day on The Master Cleanse cleansing regimen. The MC is basically one approach to ridding your system of contaminants that one may have ingested over the course of years spent living in a non-healthy way. Yep, it's still me JB over here. Don't leave.

I've been wanting to attempt some sort of a system cleanse for a few years now. I was close once before; I bought about $40 of herbs for a tea treatment, but was not patient enough with the complex mechinations involved. The herbs are still in my fridge. They can be yours for 20 bucks.

The Master Cleanse doesn't use fancy herbs or "gimmicks" if you don't count the MC as a gimmick itself. The regimen is basically fasting for 10 days save for drinking a funky lemonade consisting of lemons, maple syrup and cayenne pepper. You'll spend lots of time with your porcelain friend throughout the course of the diet, but that's kind of the point. Crap out the bad. Syonara toxins!

So, today was Day 1. Each day starts with a quart of water with some sea salt mixed in to facilitate your purging. Drinking a quart of salt water was tough. TOUGH. Tough as in, "I'm trying not to puke in the trash can tough." Perhaps I should have read the instructions a bit more closely. The MC calls for two teaspoons of sea salt. I read it as two tablespoons. Oops.

Thank God I called Stew tonight to talk about my first day experiences. [Note: yes, that Stew; he and Angela did this before and survived.] He mentioned that a friend of his also did the MC, but mistakenly used 2 TBS instead of 2 tsp.
"Yeah, you know, Dave, right? He used a tablespoon to measure the salt instead of a teaspoon. He said he could barely finish the quart of water because he kept throwing up."

"But, Stew, it calls for two tablespoons of sea salt.

"Huh. I thought it was 2 teaspoons. You should probably check just to be safe."
HOLY SHI'ITE! It is two teaspoons! My colon is probably trying to take out a hit on me right now.

No wonder I felt like I'd nearly drown in the Gulf.

I really have felt fine all day except for the miserable quart of salt water. I haven't been hungry. I haven't felt tired. I hope it stays this way. Should that occur, I may try to stretch out the MC as long as I can.

My biggest concern right now is making it through my flight to DFW tomorrow without having to answer any calls from nature while on the plane or out of reach of The President's Club.

2 comments:

Lil Sass said...

Jase, I've wanted to do this too! I will warn you, too much salt will increase your heart rate/pulse and make you feel all wacked in the head so proceed with caution my friend. I am SO PUMPED to hear about your progress. I've heard the first 3 days or so are the worst. I will pray for you!! xoxo

smac said...

go jb!