What I did on my Christmas vacation

Let's be clear from the get-go. I don't like holidays. In fact, I can't stand them. It's a personal issue, but I am not a big fan of how pissy folks get about Happy Holidays vs. Merry Christmas. I don't like Christmas shopping and the escalation in gift buying that closely mirrors the Cold War arms race. I don't like driving back from Texas to Louisiana and despise airports during peak periods of tourist travel of any sort. Take your car keys, $20 of pennies and cell phones out of your pockets before you get to the metal detector, JACKASS!

But, I like seeing my family and friends. The key is spending the "right" amount of time with folks. Determining the right amount of time depends your mobility, the amount of constant contact and the number of like-minded folks with whom you can commiserate.

This year's Christmas vacation was short on QT with friends and high on the family factor. I did attend the 5th Annual Oyster Crawl in the French Quarter with the gang. But, I missed out on Panthers vs. Saints and New Year's Eve in general. Most of the trip was spent with Mom this year helping her migrate back to North Carolina and we are both still alive to tell the tale.

The short story is that Murphy's Law was in the house, literally, for most of the moving adventure. Stuff seemed to multiple as we packed up her loot. Apparently boxes multiply if you get them wet, which is tough when you get doused with over six inches of rain in a week. When we tried to head out the truck also got stuck in the front yard that was once packed harder than a diamond thanks to the rain. It was worth it to help Mom get to a happy place.

"They" say that the lessons are in the journey. Brothers and sisters, this was one hell of a journey chock-filled with lessons of all sorts like it's probably not a great idea to try to eat a chicken salad sandwich, adjust the volume on the iPod and change lanes in your 26' moving truck all at the same time. "They" also say that one may not understand the full extent lessons learned until much later in life kinda like when your parents give you shit for not doing your homework or drinking too much Coke. Thus, I am unable to articulate everything that I learned during the trip. I can tell you that I am officially off the helping you move market until 2020 unless you're moving some place cool like Fiji or Como.