In the Home Stretch

Almost Closed
Originally uploaded by JaseMan.
Big news, sports fans! I'm halfway down the path towards being a homeowner in Houston, but all two members of the readership knew that already. This morning's closing proceedings were so exhausting that I had to rush right out to lunch and induce a food coma to make sure that my body didn't go into shock from having to think too much.

The closing process, so called because you are slamming the door on true adolescence and ultra carefree spending (at least til my trophy wife, a.k.a. rich lady who wants an eye-candy, stay home father for our ultimate team comes along), was really not that big a deal. Signing my name 71 times on multiple copies of the same forms, some in Spanish, did take a toll on me. Although at this point, the Escrow Officer could have told me that she needed me to get her name tattooed on my back and I would have done it.

On second thought, winning a damages suit for the carpal tunnel syndrome that I'm sure to develop would help pay for my new kitchen. Anyone got Morris Bart's number handy?


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Julia said...

Good luck with the closing, JB! I know you can do it. Create a kick ass place for me to come visit sometime. Wait, which city are you in? Because I don't really want to visit Houston. The traffic and all. You know how it goes. And I have plenty of family in Austin, so I probably wouldn't stay there either. Oh, well. Maybe I'll take a trip some day. Or have a tournament there. Do they have any tournaments in Houston? Probably not because there is no green space. I mean, you can't have a tournament on the highway. Especially not with all of that traffic. I'm not neurotic. But I might have had too much coffee. What's your new address? I'll send you a postcard from Australia. The land down under. The land of the hot Aussie men. The land where Ozone dominates. The...oh, you get the picture.