At least I got the Singles

Someone needs to write to the American Heart Association, the Surgeon General and the Drug Enforcement Agency regarding the possibility of narcotics having been added to Kraft Singles.

In case you were deprived as a child because your parents cared a lot about proper nutrition, Kraft Singles are delectable slices of processed cheese food trapped in a cellophane case of protection. Contrary to the branding scheme, they are not actually food; rather, they are slices of yellow crack.

A recent trip to Kroger (pronounced KRO-jzay for those of who aren't blessed) resulted in the acquisition of 16 slices of heaven. Numbers quickly dwindled upon arrival at the home base.

Forget Lay's. I challenge any lover of pretend cheese to eat only one slice straight out of the fridge and walk away.

1 comment:

Robert Bond said...

Each Kraft single contains povidone, boric acid, potassium chloride, sodium borate and sodium chloride...yep...same ingredients in Renu Rewetting Crack Drops...

coincidence...I don't think so...