Ten Things That You Should Know Right Now

10. If procrastination were an Olympic sport, I would have won a gold medal in both the Summer and Winter games during each Olympiad since 1980.
9. You should rent Brick and watch it twice.
8. I just realized that I am flying from Milan to Newark on September 10th and that freaks me out a bit.
7. "Isn't ironic, dontcha think," that drinking coffee has a calming effect on me during stressful periods at work?
6. I'm getting close to buying a house, but then again, I'm getting close to moving to Chicago or New York.
5. I signed my second marriage license in the state of Texas on Sunday; my reverending career continues.
4. The Heater is on her last few laps around the neighborhood. I'm pissed and sad. Who wants another car payment? Who wants to deal with car shopping? I would start riding a horse if I thought he would survive the heat coming off of the asphalt during lunch time.
3. The cankle feels spectacular. Thanks for asking.
2. People in Chicago and New York, and everywhere else north of I-10, should quit crying about the heat and come to Austin or New Orleans. Then you'll know what hot is. And, go by a window unit already, you morons.
1. I gave my 24" BMX bike to someone that needs it. That made me feel good.