Urinal Rules Apply

Guys, you wouldn't stand right next to someone at a wall full of empty urinals would you? I didn't think so.

I am working during my six hour lay over in Newark's cavernous President's Club, the one by security not the one above McDonald's. Here I sit being productive until some schmuck sits down right next to me to make a phone call. It wouldn't be a big deal if there weren't 27 vacant cubes with phones in this general vicinity. That's not to mention the other mostly vacant cube farm in the other part of the club.

He didn't even leave the customary empty seat between us. I'm pretty sure he rinsed with Tar & Nicotine mouthwash and topped it off with Eau d'Old Fart.

"We got a limo to drive us to the airport. I need to drive classy."

"The husband got a job? I didn't know she was married. That's amazing."

"Give my love to her...and them, too. Tell them I'm going to see Ted."

"I'll call you later tonight."

That's sweet, bub. Next time use a phone that's far enough away so that your neighbors can't hear the cat using the litter box on the other end of the line.

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