Looks great on paper

Pundits, teachers, parents and that guy on the corner keep telling us that we may learn a thing or two about our future by examining where we've been. Huh. OK, Kreskin, let's take a look back at my job history. There's no way in hell this will help me sort out my career woes. Believe me, I've tried. But, if that guy on the corner says it'll help, it must be true. Plus, I just so happen to the paper plate listing all of yobs handy.

Yeah, I said my jobs are listed on a paper plate. The short story is that the FatBayou Millennial Haze crew was sitting around the elephant house chatting about jobs we had had while we awaited the arrival of the end of the world in late December 1999. I was unable to find a piece of paper large enough for my list so I wrote them on a paper plate.

All jobs included on the list below were jobs for which I received a payroll check. Jobs for which I was paid cash for services rendered are not included. That list is long, sordid and complex. I thrive on simple.

JB el JB's List of Yobs

1. Bus Boy, The Pilot House Restaurant & Marina
   
2. Drive-thru Monkey, McDonald's
   
3. Utility Burgerman, McDonald's
   
4. Scooper & Cake Maker, Baskin-Robbins
   
5. Prep Cook, Fudpucker's
   
6. Dishwasher, The Back Porch
   
7. Painter, Rubicon
   
8. Engineering Intern, Sunland Fabricator's
   
9. Welder's Assistant, Sunland Fabricator's
   
10. Office Assistant, LSU Vice Chancellor's Office
    
11. Bartender, Lion's Club Bingo Hall
    
12. Orientation Leader, LSU
    
13. Carpenter, NSU Theatre Department
    
14. Research Assistant - Ornithology, LSU Museum of Natural Science
    
15. Resident Assistant, LSU
    
16. Assistant Director of Orientation, LSU Dean of Student's Office
    
17. Chief Announcer, klsu
    
18. Graduate Assistant, LSU Public Administration Institute
    
19. Tutor, LSU ISDS Department
    
20. Internal Audit Intern, Vulcan Materials
    
21. Instructor, LSU ISDS Department
    
22. Consultant, McCall, Gilchrist & Haynes

I was only terminated for cause once. It was my first job. The 'cause' was being grounded. Cut me a break. I was 13.