Four 14 Show goes off with hitch

Happy Couple
Originally uploaded by JaseMan.

K & H tied ye ole Gordian Knot this past Saturday resulting in yet another very prestigious union. For all you ladies out there aching for details, the bride wore a dress and so did most of the other chicks in attendance. The groom and his posse were tuxed out and looked really charp. We clean up well. You almost couldn't tell one of us was a Bolivian. Almost.

In all seriousness, the wedding was afuckingmazing. Sure, sure, that's why you pay the wedding planner big bucks, but something usually still goes haywire at the last minute. The biggest problem we had was the manager of the reception hall telling us we couldn't bring our beer on to the grounds let alone into the building.

Houston Crew
Originally uploaded by JaseMan.

Excuse me? Jackass say what? Clearly he had not yet experienced the power of a fully operational JB Con Tuxedo. I did not kick his ass only due to my respect for the bride who may have killed me with my shirt stud if I caused any sort of hiccup in the proceedings. That bastard got off lucky.

Other stuff you'd like to know: no one tripped on the steps up the altar, no groomsmen cried (B. Whitley held it in), the band ROCKED, the food made us all wonder if we could have a doggy bag for late night eats, and no, my reverending services were not required, but that would have been sweet.

Ice Bar
Originally uploaded by JaseMan.

The 9th Modern Wonder of the JB is the ice bar. Rather than satisfy themselves with a normal bar set-up for the reception, H & K commissioned two bars carved out of ice and inscribed with their wedding logo. Holy schnikes! I must have died and stumbled into a Malibu wedding. The entire event was top shelf, but not gaudy which can only be attributed to the excellent taste of the bride and groom.

The most decadent portion of the affair was the hotel suite that the bride and groom forced on the wedding party. By forced, I mean, offered. It went something like this:

JB, we'd like you to be in the wedding. Whaddaya say?
Well, I gotta do my taxes that weekend...
We'll throw in a suite at Hotel ICON for the weekend.
I'm in.

Grazing flamingoes
Originally uploaded by JaseMan.

Actually, a couple of groomsmen and I questioned this kind gesture since we lived in town or could at least share the swanky digs. Thank God we got rebuffed. We must have been out of our minds to suggest that we could stay at FPR instead of sleeping on a cloud of cushyness surrounded by 800 thread-count sheets smothered by enough down to outfit a whole flock of Canadians.

I took full advantage of el suite. Sleeping most of the waking hours when my presence wasn't required for wedding functions? Check. Long luxurious soak in the two person Jacuzzi tub while reading the comics on Sunday afternoon? Check. Watching Cablevision so long that my eyes nearly turned into raisins from not blinking? Check.

The Four 14 Show was amazing. I'm happy to have been a part of it, but now I have a luxury hotel hangover. I am scared that the only cure may be to move back into my suite for at least one night a week. Looks like it may be time to start crashing a few weddings. Anyone know Chuck Vindaloo?